An open letter...

Dear Super Cool Computer Hacker Guy,

I just wanted to say thank you for putting some stupid virus thing out on the internet so it could weasel its way onto my computer and eat its files. Really, thanks for making it pinpoint the exact files I needed to boot up my computer to rescue anything I needed to save, like my resume or pictures from my honeymoon. I realize that your life maybe miserable, but let me assure you that making other people miserable will not make you feel any better. While I should be angry at you, I'm not. Yeah, I'm not thrilled that you wiped out everything on my hard drive, but it could have been worse. I feel sad that this is the best you can do with your life. Really, you could do so much more, because you're obviously smart... why waste your talent making countless innocent strangers want to smash their computers into tiny bits?

Unfortunately for you, you failed in your efforts to make me miserable. In fact, you did me a favor! I had been meaning to update my computer for a while now, you just got the job done a lot faster. And yes, I did lose my resume, but good thing I have a hard copy so I can retype it. And those honeymoon pictures... they weren't that great anyways. You just gave me a reason to go on vacation again! Yay! So again, really, thank you. I'll be sure to remember you for all my other computing needs.

Your friend,
Meagan